Possessing good professional communication skills allows us to present our ideas to others clearly and would put you in good stead in most of your daily activities. However, your brilliant presentation or resume writing skills does not prepare you for the most basic and often overlooked aspect of communication; the dreaded small talk.
Have you ever found yourself bumping into an acquaintance that you barely know and not knowing what to talk about? I do, almost every day in fact and I am constantly amused at the questions I ask in my attempts at small talk.
Scenario 1: Just last week. I bumped into a ‘hi-bye’ course mate while walking to class. Hoping to start a conversation, I asked him is: “Hey man, going for class?”
“Where else could he have been going? I should really stop asking questions which I already have the answer for!” I thought to myself.
I used to be uncomfortable with such situations however, an article I read made me realise the importance of small talk. A mindless statement regarding the weather breaks the ice, allowing each person to feel the other person out before taking a conversation further. It also provides time to get over the initial apprehension of meeting someone for the first time.
There are occasions which I still dread and I am hoping the reader can help me out with the following scenario:
You are walking to the bus-stop when you spot an acquaintance you are not really fond of waiting for the only bus service available. Do you…..
a) look around for a taxi?
b) have thoughts of walking to your destination even if it might take you half a day
c) start thinking of topics for the inevitable small talk?
If your answer is C, what are the possible ways or conversations to make the bus ride a more pleasant one?
Have you ever found yourself bumping into an acquaintance that you barely know and not knowing what to talk about? I do, almost every day in fact and I am constantly amused at the questions I ask in my attempts at small talk.
Scenario 1: Just last week. I bumped into a ‘hi-bye’ course mate while walking to class. Hoping to start a conversation, I asked him is: “Hey man, going for class?”
“Where else could he have been going? I should really stop asking questions which I already have the answer for!” I thought to myself.
I used to be uncomfortable with such situations however, an article I read made me realise the importance of small talk. A mindless statement regarding the weather breaks the ice, allowing each person to feel the other person out before taking a conversation further. It also provides time to get over the initial apprehension of meeting someone for the first time.
There are occasions which I still dread and I am hoping the reader can help me out with the following scenario:
You are walking to the bus-stop when you spot an acquaintance you are not really fond of waiting for the only bus service available. Do you…..
a) look around for a taxi?
b) have thoughts of walking to your destination even if it might take you half a day
c) start thinking of topics for the inevitable small talk?
If your answer is C, what are the possible ways or conversations to make the bus ride a more pleasant one?
Hi Hanrong,
ReplyDeletethis is a very interesting topic! Honestly, sometimes I do pretend not to notice that person if I sense the other party is also not too keen. This particular non-verbal cue is surprisingly easy to catch (eg attempting to avert their eyes).
For other cases, I will usually start with talking about possible common experiences such as the modules they are taking, where they are heading, are they taking honours project etc. This may be cliché but it has been my life saver many times. I guess a “successful” conversation simply needs both sides to interact in a balanced way. For instance, modules are something every student has to take. Thus, we can relate to their experiences especially if they are the same or something we have taken before.
Hope this helps!
Michelle
Haha you and your non-verbal cues!
ReplyDeleteHey Hanrong!
ReplyDeleteHonestly speaking, if the person is someone I REALLY do not want to speak to, I would have gone somewhere else first, maybe get myself a drink and delay going to the busstop until the person has boarded the bus. Only then will I go to the busstop to catch the next bus.
However, if it is really inevitable that I have to choose option C (for example, I may be in a rush, and I cannot afford to wait for the next bus), I would think of things that I have in common with the person and use that as the topic for our 'small talk'.
Still, like what Michelle had said, I need to be keen and look out for the non-verbal cues. If the person does not seem interested in striking up a conversation, then I will stop talking and let the person have his/her own private space.
Hope this helps!
Regards,
Faidah.
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteHey Hanrong!
ReplyDeleteThis is a good topic as the occasional awkward bumping into an acquaintance will plague us for as long as we shall live. As we grow older, we collect more friends and such situations are, thus, unavoidable.
If I do want to avoid bumping into an “acquaintance you are not really fond of waiting for the only bus service available”, I would walk to the bus stop before or after the one I am approaching and pray to the dear Lord that that certain somebody would not notice me at the back of the bus.
However, if the only bus stop before or after is along a highway, I would be left with no choice but go with option C. Like Michelle said, common topics are definitely an ice breaker. Talking about similar past experiences would also help. I often find myself talking to acquaintances about mutual friends and asking casually about the other person’s well being.
Let’s say, next semester, you walk towards the bus stop and spot me. This is how it might go.
Me: Hi Hanrong!
You: Hey… have you waited long?
Me: Yes. The bus is taking forever to get here.
You: (thinks to yourself “oh no. I’m going to be stuck here for a long time”) okay. So…er… what did you get for ES2007S? Did Ms. Happy give you a good grade?
Me: hmm I did alright. You?
You: I got an A+. Haha! So what modules are you taking this semester?
Me: Wow! A+! She must really love you! I’m taking mostly pharmacy modules. How’s your job?
You: Oh… So are you doing FYP this semester? My job’s great! I love being an engineer!
Me: Haha! Good for you! No… I’m not doing FYP.
My CAP cannot make it. Haha! OH LOOK! THE BUS IS HERE!
You: Hey you know what, I’m in a hurry. I think I’ll take a cab instead. See you!
Haha! Just an analogy!
So Hanrong, please don’t ask me whether I’m going to class the next time we meet at the lift landing! (:
Cheers,
Ariana
Hey Hanrong,
ReplyDeleteCool post! And really really cool responses! Haha. The small talk, that's actually quite a big problem. I totally understand what you mean about such situations. I've experienced them countless times. I say the darndest things, like, "Hey man, still schooling huh?" or "Hey man, from class huh?", or "Hey man, just finis..hey i know you! LIVERPOOL STILL SUCKS!"
Anyway, in response to your scenario, I would definitely still take the bus and not deliberately delay myself. I mean, why should I inconvenience myself for somebody I don't like?
I've actually experienced this before. One time, I saw Reza from far away at the bus stop, and as you would expect, I groaned. This was what I did: I went up to the bus stop, he saw me, i saw him, we froze, we recovered, I said 'what up fool?', he said 'the sky', and then the bus came.
So, that's really what I usually do when I see someone I don't particularly like haha. Generally. See you in class man!
abz
Fool!!! Hahaha....
ReplyDeleteAnyway, my take on this is to choose option (c). But since I don't like the fellow, I'll think of conversations that will make the other person uncomfortable!
For example, "Hey Les, I heard you're into guys now huh? So do I turn you on? Mmmm...."
Heh Miss Happy I'm just playing around here pls don't assess me on this! Now that my fyp's over I have too much free time! Hahahhahaha
Dude...
ReplyDeleteI would definitely take option A, because firstly, I'm always late for class as some people know, so a cab will take me there fast. Secondly since the economy is currently in a bad state, spending some money on transportation will actually go a long way in helping the economy's recovery. Lastly, cab drivers love me, they're always picking me up... haha
Lester
Hey HR,
ReplyDeleteunder normal circumstances, I will take option C. Actually alot of my answer will depend how much i dislike that acquaintance and how am i feeling on that day itself. If the day don't turn out to be too well for me, I would not want to make it worse but forcing myself to talk to someone i don't like. In the event like this, I might just give that person a smile and walk pass that person and wait for the bus at another spot.
In the event that I feel i have the mood to do some entertaining, i would approach the person and converse in small talks. However I would never never in any case do any thing that might offend the person. So that is how i will usually behave. Haha..
Cheers
Sherri